Last night my husband and I argued of the silliest of things, yet it always boils down to the same thing: He makes me feel like he thinks that I’m stupid and always wants to prove me wrong and he feels like I’ve always got to be right and prove my point and ultimately, it is always my fault.
I went to bed last night much later than I planned and wanted to. Then after I got in bed I spent the next hour or so praying. I vacillated between a pity party, then humility and finally praising God. Then I’d start all over again.
I demanded to know from God WHY? Why do I always have to be the one that bends the knee? Why do I always have to be the one that sacrifices my desires, my thoughts and my feelings? Then at the other extreme I’d beg God to humble me that I would be usable in His hand, that He would pierce my stubborn heart because after all this isn’t for me but for His Glory. Then I’d start praising God, thanking Him for His great mercy, unfailing grace and unconditional love.
This morning, after a horrible night trying to sleep and never really accomplishing that task, I dragged myself out of bed and started in again with prayer. Am I actually rebelling against God by stubbornly refusing to budge in my belief that as long as I’m submissive to my husband God will provide for me or am I doing what is right by continuing no matter how much of an uphill battle I’m encountering? What hit me while I was getting ready is this scripture from Psalms.
“Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.” Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God! Wow, what a message, what a renewal of God’s light in my heart, what an awesome responsibility! How am I supposed to “be still” when all I want to do is lash back in anger, frustration, or bitterness? What does it mean to “know” that He is God?
In the midst of any difficulty, we just simply need to “be still.” We can’t “be still” if we’re fretting about whether we’re doing right or wrong by the convictions that God has instilled in our hearts. We can’t “be still” if we revel in anger, bitterness or frustration. We can’t “be still” unless we “know” that He is God, which brings us to the second part of that statement. Notice, the text doesn’t say to “know God,” but “know that I am God.” Knowing that He is God is significant because just knowing that He is God should instill peace in our hearts. Knowing that He is God means that we also know that He is in control and that He loves us, extends His grace and mercy. As Paul stated; His grace is sufficient. It absolutely is. Knowing that He is God, takes the pressure off of our shoulders to be in control and allows God to take over.
The most awesome thing is that by being still and knowing that He is God, or if you’ll allow – being still and thinking of God’s sovereignty, God will be glorified, not just in our immediate surroundings, but every nation and the whole world. Who says that one person can’t make a difference. I don’t claim to understand it, only God has the cosmic picture, instead I just believe simply because Has said to believe.
I live for God and thank Him for is grace, without which, I would be as a worm crawling in the dust.
Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters to great or awesome for me. But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord – now and always. Psalm 131
May God provide the increase